Posted by MHK on October 18, 2000 at 16:12:37:
In Reply to: Controversies-R-Us posted by Other Ben on October 18, 2000 at 15:50:53:
I was solo diving at the Matterhorn. My initial plan was to go to 300' so I decided to use steel tanks and a wetsuit. Jim Hoffman wasn't open so I couldn't get any Helium. I was determined to keep my profile so I figured that since I had been diving for a long time I was *good on air* so I used air for this dive. When I hit 300' my OMS bondage wings wouldn't inflate and I started to panic. I was able to calm myself with the knowledge that my Nitrox spare air was nearby and I could blow and go with it if all else failed.
Then one of the suicide clips on my dangling gadgets got caught on the reef. The machette that I carry on my outer left thigh I couldn't reach, so what do I do now????
Miracuously ouf of the blue appears another independant diver... Thank God, he frees me and then takes off because he sees that I have every gadget in the dive shop so he's sure I'll be fine..
And just when I thought things couldn't get worse, my inflator hose, complete with my Air II freeflows, so I'm screwed. I inflate the bondage wings for all they are worth , grab my Nitrox spare air and away I go...
I break the surface and try to use my Dive Alert for help, for whatever reason it doesn't work.. I ditch my force fins, I put my snorkel in my mouth and I swim for help...
When I get on the boat I rip through my patch covered dive bag, I grab my PADI emergency slate and I go through the ABC's.....
Fortunatley I then wake up and realize that no one would do something this dumb ;-)
Thus you have MHK's attempt at humor...
Just trying to lighten up the list a little
Later