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Posted by spare air on November 07, 2001 at 16:00:08:

In Reply to: her deep deco stop (60fsw) on air may have done more harm posted by Karl S. on November 07, 2001 at 15:07:14:

Date: Tue, 06 Nov 2001 23:40:55 -0000
Subject: [BA_TechDiver] Re: accumulation error of 0.04 cu ft

Four one-hundredths of a cubic foot of accumulation error times 10
calculations is still less than one-half of a cubic foot of gas
error, Leonard, which is about the volume of a fart!!!

That lends a whole new perspective on precision, somewhat akin to the
standard blonde cunt hair, or the gnats eyelash, all standards of
calibration since time immemorial.

[I apologize in advance for the crassitude of traditional U.S. Naval
and Military specifications. Mia culpa.]

Someday I will maybe tell all of you all about our attack submarine
torpedo drills while driving in Lt. Jesse Chambre's ChevyVan back
down the Los Angeles freeway after shore leave in Westwood.

"Ready on Torpedo #1 Mr. Chambres!" shouts XO Morris from his shotgun
position in the ChevyVan.

"Aye Sir, Ready on #1, Aye!" replies Jesse from the back of the van.

"Hold her stead as she goes, Mr. Helmsman!" shouts the XO.

"Aye Sir, Steady as she goes, Aye!" I reply from the designated-
driver position at the steering wheel, holding course and speed of 55
kts steady as she goes in the far right traffic lane of the freeway.

We always had a designated driver whenever we went up to Los Angeles
to Westwood to the partying spots of the beautiful & young Co-eds of

And of course the designated driver was not allowed to drink, and he
was in charge of all conversations with Shore Patrol or L.A.P.D. or
bouncers at clubs. I thought I would give all of you all a snippit
about a happy story about alcohol, since nobody liked the last story
I told about DUI, and understandably so.

For the record, lest any feebleminded viewer from out of town become
confused, none of us served on any subs. Mostly LSTs & LSAs packed
with glossy blue CH-53s back in those days, with those words of
seriousness, NAVY painted in block white letters across both sides.
I have no idea of the new stuff that the Navy is using today in
Afghanistan. I only wish them Godspeed and good hunting.

"Oh give me a Ship that looks out on the Sea!
Yeo! Ho! And blown the man down!
A mighty tall ship thats as fine as can be!
Give us the time! We'll blow the man down!"

A fart. Zero point zero four times 10. Off by merely a fart.
Pretty good spreadsheet, huh Leonard?! Bay Area Technical Diving
Issue #427.

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