Posted by Grumpy Old Guy on August 09, 2002 at 20:29:31:
In Reply to: What's the most "humane" way to dispatch a lobster? posted by ChrisM on August 09, 2002 at 14:53:51:
of course, since lobsters can't talk, you'll have to choose for them. Perhaps a nice house salad of bull kelp, followed by a splash of lemon.
Then, a little sodium pentothal in the after dinner drink, and Mr. Lobster is night-night.
At this stage, rolling Mr. Lobster onto the gurney should be simple.. Now, strap down the tentacles and legs, extending a claw for the injection. (Gas won't work, as they don't breath gas, and you can't drown 'em).
At this time, it's important to allow the priest (or other denomination cleric), to administer the Last Rights.
Now, a full Kevorkian cocktail, an ME evaluation, a pronouncement of death, and voila...a humanely dispatched lobster.
Damn, gang. There is no "humane" way to do this. If you could find its less-than pea size brain, you could push a metal probe into it (remember "pithing" the frog in H.S.?), but that's still gonna hurt.
Snapping the back and severing the tail doesn't kill the animal's brain impulses, and if it could talk, it would probably explore your ancestry.
I know it's callous, heartless, and cruel (and politically incorrect), but this is stupid. Best guess is dump 'em into boiling water. Of course, you're now cooking the defecatory waste in their tails with the meat (yum).
Cook the damn things and eat.
Have a lovely evening.
GOG