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Posted by FARMHAND on November 30, 2006 at 23:03:32:

ABANDONED SHIPWRECK ACT................A license to steal.

BASIC C CARD................Proof you know how to dive in a heated swimming pool.

BAG LIMIT................Depends on the size of your bag.

BASIC GAS LAW...............Never eat chili and onions before diving.

CAVE DIVING................Group grope.

"COLORFUL, FUNCTIONAL"................Expensive.

DIVE BUDDY.................The Invisible Man.

DIVER'S FLAG.........Magnetic cloth that attracts outboard engines.

HOT WATER SUIT.............."Oh, what a relief it is!"

LIFT BAG....................Rapid ascent device.

LIMITED VISABILITY..................New gear warranty exclusions.

LOG BOOK..................Creative writing guide.

MASK DEFOGGING SOLUTION................Expensive saliva.

MIXED GAS...................Air from dirty compressors.

OCTOPUS REGULATORS.............Double trouble.

REDUNDANT TECH DIVING GEAR.........DEMA Enrichment Act.

RESORT COURSE................How to dive in a pool for $2,500.00

SPARE AIR.................A puny pony.

"UNLIMITED DIVING" RESORTS................Fantasy islands.

VITAL CAPACITY................Six packs consumed per dive trip.

Basic Scuba Course:

Don't dive too deep.
Don't stay down too long.
Don't hold your breath.
Don't EVER pay retail.



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