In Reply to: VHF Radio Stories - Ever HEar Something Funny? posted by tleemay on January 02, 2007 at 01:45:45:

...from your Canadian friend from the Great Wet North:

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US
naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of
Newfoundland.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees South to
avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say
again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
************************

The USS City of Corpus Christi was steaming, surfaced, through the Straits of Mallaca when an approaching Russian frigate signaled "Our vessels are closing rapidly. Please change your course for the People of the Soviet Union's fighting ship Sovremny, or join us in combat."
The American ship signaled back, "This is the submarine USS City of Corpus Christi. We are preparing to submerge. Would you care to join us?"