At Friday’s "Rigs-to-Reefs" Revival Meeting held in a tent near Disneyland, world renowned (according to her biography) marine researcher and the National Inquirer’s Scientist-in-Residence Dr. Donna Diver, proposed a "fiberglass archipelago," to help restore marine life in nearshore waters. Diver, the keynote speaker for the conference sponsored by OC Reeferkeeper and CARP [Coastal Artificial Reef Promotion], an oil-industry front group, was inspired she said by the recreational marinas she passed on the way to the conference. Imagine all the marine life that is killed each time we haul these boats out and scrape their bottoms. We can’t do anything about all these boats, but we can allow the marine life to grow on them enhancing coastal areas where there is little marine growth. "Just imagine all the fish, and sea otters and little mermaids that will find habitat there," gushed Diver.

Diver, who had been flown in from Fiji by the oil industry to promote a "steel archipelago" of scrapped offshore rigs on the ocean floor, began deviating from her script calling also for a "fiberglass archipelago" and a "plastic archipelago" of plastic debris in the ocean. "Look, like it or not, this stuff is there now and life is growing on it, so why should we waste time, killing marine life, to clean it up? What are we, anal retentive housewives?" she asked. Showing pictures of the earth from space, children and dolphins, and a net full of orange roughy, Diver declared "it’s time we stopped taking things out of the ocean and started putting more into it."

The revival meeting had begun in an upbeat mood of songs, prayer and testimonials. Attendees, many Southern California recreational fishermen and oil company executives, had earlier joined hands in singing "Get the trawlers off the Sea, so there’ll be more fish for me" (sung to the tune of "Throw the Jew down the well") and heard about the staggering cost of removing platforms to be sent to a recycling center in the Gobi Desert, and how this would contribute to global warming. Diver’s midday speech, which was not exactly on message, left some perplexed since they were not about to leave growth on the bottom of their yachts.