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Posted by HoloD on November 02, 2005 at 13:34:01:
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. He sent this
e-mail to his sister, who then sent it to the local radio station, who
was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she
won." "Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of the
job. As you know, my office is at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks up
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is stuff the hose down the back of my wetsuit. This floods
the wetsuit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled out the hose
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish could not stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
so fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was in itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers were all
laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire
out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut. So, next time if you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now
repeat to yourself "I love my job, I love my job!!!!... Your day's not so bad, is it.........................
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