A dive from hell!

Great Dive Trips at Bargain Prices with the Sea Divers

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Posted by AADIVER on February 04, 2003 at 11:40:10:

An e-mail from a non-diving friend:

Next time you think you're having a bad day at work, think of this guy.
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email
> sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 in Ft. Wayne,
> IN, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say
> entry won.
> "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
> had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
> so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
> so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
> bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
> the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It is a wet suit. This
> time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:
> have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
> temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
> is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
> used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the
> bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of
> wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in
> Jacuzzi.
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> seconds my butt started to burn. Pulled the hose out from my back, but
> damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I
> don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
> the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought
> was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
> butt. I informed the dive supervisor of the dilemma over the communicator.
> His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
> Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
> agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling 35 minutes before I could
> reach the surface to begin my chamber dry-compression. When I arrived at
> surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
> water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me
> tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got into the
> chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
> because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you are having a bad day
> work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved
> up your butt."
> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

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