VHF Radio Stories - Ever HEar Something Funny?

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Posted by tleemay on January 02, 2007 at 01:45:45:

This thread was inspired by Chuck's response of VHF radio and
it's required use noted a few threads below.

For the past 12 years I have been regularly listening to marine
VHF and SSB bands via a private remote pick-up at Avalon that's
eventually streamed onto the internet. I've heard some very
funny things from professionals and privateers in their
interactions between themselves, the USCG and marine AAA

I heard versions over the years from many captains of one
particular story. The one I'm recanting here was one I
actually heard myself.

It was in late August '95. A woman was frantically hailing the
CG from a very famous 70 something ft power sailer anchored
just off Descanso Beach near Avalon. She sounded scared and
was, at times, somewhat in-coherent. When the CG answered her
hail, she was very reluctant to tell CG the nature of her emergency.

After requesting her to switch to channel 22, the CG
re-established communication and again tried to get her to tell
them the nature of the problem she had. For almost 3 or 4
minutes, all she would tell them in a frightened tone was that
they were in serious trouble and that her husband and guests
were considering swimming ashore.

CG immediately told her to have all people on board put their
lifejackets on and describe their boat. She told them the name
of the boat, it's length and the vessels description and color.
CG then asked to talk to someone else on the boat, preferably
the boat's captain.

The radio went silent.

Again the CG requested that the vessel's captain, or the woman
whom they had been communicating with, to return the call and
report their GPS position as well as a description of the
emergency they were experiencing. The CG hail went on many
times over the next few minutes. They also requested other
boaters in the area to keep an eye out for the described vessel
and report any observations.

The CG continued to hail the boat... no answer.

Finally a man answered the CG's hail. He identified himself as
the captain of the vessel. CG sternly requested the man confirm
that the boat was at anchor, the passengers all had their
lifejackets on, and an update as to what the actual nature of
the emergency was.

The answer the captain provided was serious and direct, there
was no emotion in his voice.

"We are anchored and we have our lifejackets on. The nature of
my girlfriend's emergency is that the ice maker died.... and we
are out of ice."

CG responded by telling the Captain to standby. A few minutes
later, it sounded like Bay Watch Avalon was in the process of
boarding the vessel.

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